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Posted by / 11-Oct-2019 15:34

Abusive behavior when dating

A primary strategy the narcissist uses to assert control, particularly within their family, is to create divisions among individuals. The power and control "wheel" was developed in 1982 by the Domestic Abuse Program in Minneapolis to explain the nature of abuse, to delineate the forms of abuse used to control another person, and to educate people with the goal of stopping violence and abuse.This weakens and isolates them, making it easier for the narcissist to manipulate and dominate. The model is used in many batterer intervention programs, and is known as the Duluth model.The victims are at risk of anxiety, dissociation, depression, shame, low self-esteem and suicidal ideation.An effective means of ensuring control and power over another is to control their access to money.The silent treatment thereby enables its perpetrator to cause hurt, obtain ongoing attention in the form of repeated attempts by the victim to restore dialogue, maintain a position of power through creating uncertainty over how long the verbal silence and associated impossibility of resolution will last, and derive the satisfaction that the perpetrator associates with each of these consequences.One sense of mind games is a largely conscious struggle for psychological one-upmanship, often employing passive–aggressive behavior to specifically demoralize or dis-empower the thinking subject, making the aggressor look superior; also referred to as "power games".According to Counselling Survivors of Domestic Abuse, "These serve to confuse the survivor leading to potent conditioning processes that impact on the survivor's self-structure and cognitive schemas." The abuser projects responsibility for the abuse on to the victim, or survivor, and the denigration and negative projections become incorporated into the survivor's self-image.

When there is a connection and a degree of trust, the abusers become unusually involved in their partner's feelings, thoughts and actions.According to Jill Cory and Karen Mc Andless-Davis, authors of When Love Hurts: A Woman's Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships: Each of the tactics within the power and control wheel are used to "maintain power and control in the relationship.No matter what tactics your partner uses, the effect is to control and intimidate you or to influence you to feel that you do not have an equal voice in the relationship." A tool for exerting control and power is the use of threats and coercion.Traumatic bonding can occur between the abuser and victim as the result of ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds that are resistant to change and a climate of fear.Isolation, gaslighting, mind games, lying, disinformation, propaganda, destabilisation, brainwashing and divide and rule are other strategies that are often used.

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The victim may be subject to threats that they will be left, hurt, or reported to welfare.